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No Logo: No Space, No Choice, No Jobs
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"I want to perform an unnatural act."

- Lenny Bruce



"I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative. I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me."

- Bill Hicks



"I don’t like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people: “Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, ‘There is no “I” in team.’ What you should tell them is, ‘Maybe not. But there is an “I” in independence, individuality and integrity.’” Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name. If they say, “We’re the So-and-Sos,” take a walk. And if, somehow, you must join, if it’s unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. But don’t participate; it will be your death. And if they tell you you’re not a team player, congratulate them on being observant."

-George Carlin



"The more I see, the less I know for sure."

- John Lennon

City of Bones: Mortal Instruments, Book 1

City of Bones - Cassandra Clare This will probably be my longest review, but there's a lot to cover here. What I liked:- The action sequences were written well. The pacing in them was decent and I could visualize what was happening.- The kiss between two characters Jace and Clary was also written well, and I was happy to see a kiss written as a kiss, and not like orgasmic sex (the kiss scene in Fallen was so over the top that it was ridiculous).- Some of the twisty twists were decent. What I didn't like:- Pretty much everything else. Details follow. Mild cursing and awesome gifs ahead.Okay. Reviews for this are all over the place. It's very much a love it or hate it book. It's understandable given that this very much reads like Harry Potter fanfiction (I may be incorrect but I think it started as fanfiction). Valentine is so obviously a doppelganger for Voldemort that it's distracting. Plus every time I read about the Mortal Instruments, I thought of the Deathly Hallows.The story itself, though, had promise. Runes, demon hunting, that's cool. By now I'm so sick of any mention of nephilim that I don't even want to talk about that (thanks Patch!). I will also give points to Clare for not having teenagers talk like moronic robots. I actually read a book in which someone said "Oh em gee" and it depressed me. Clare gets the same points taken away, though, for the godawful dialogue. I say godawful because I'd heard so much about the witticisms of these characters. I wasn't expecting Oscar Wilde, but these kids weren't witty. They were goddamn annoying. You can tell when someone is in love with the sound of his/her own voice, and his/her own humor, and it showed here. Plus everyone seemed to have the same humor, and it followed a formula:Character One: "Simple question."Character Two: "Oh, that? It's hyberbole, bad simile, weird visual."Character One: "Oh, you're so saucy!"Seriously. Between the "shotgun, where? Oh she means where to sit in the car, lol, who's on first?", "looking better in black than blah blah your mom, take my wife, please!", "hahaha better than Isabelle's cooking, am I right? Is this thing on?", I wanted to scream.It was relentless. Even what could have passed as poignant moments was ruined by this "humor". Oh, you tried to brush away an uncomfortable moment by saying someone's a killer transvestite who molests cats HAHAHA I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. Gods, it was constant.Also, the infodumping. It was brutal.As a writer, I can sympathize with needing to get a ton of story out there, but there has GOT to be a better way to do it than sitting the newbie down and answering his/her Q&A for pages and pages. On to the characters. Now, Jace is a douchebag, and I say that because this guy is one of the most narcissistic characters I've encountered in fiction, and that's saying something. However, he never physically assaulted Clary, so he gets points for that, because other love interests in YA have certainly done that (hi Patch!).On to Clary. What a dipshit. She was okay at first, but then her Mary Sueness was brought to blinding levels. She's never used a weapon before, but she's able to throw a dagger right at a monster. Three characters, including the monster she hits, compliment her on it. You could argue that there's something inherent in her that makes her automatically good at this stuff, but I really don't care and that's lazy. I also really hated her inner monologue. They're fighting vampires - vampires! - and she takes the time to think to herself "HURRR THERE ARE NO FAT OR UGLY VAMPIRES it's like an Abercrombie & Fitch ad with the undead all up in here" while this is happening. She's so clueless it's pathetic. Also, there's the what seems to be obligatory mess of "she doesn't know how beautiful she is" thing. On its own, it could be fine, but here it was this mess of all these guys falling over Clary while she remains oblivious. Give me a break here. Have your character own his/her sexuality and beauty, or don't make them objects of desire. And don't tell me it was her winning personality that won these guys over, because she just kind of stands there until the end, and even then she whined so much I was kind of hoping she'd die.I'd love to know what was with the weird POV changes. For most of the book I was stuck with Clary, then got a page and a half in Jace's head, then Luke's, which was part of an infodumping so epic it needed a Hans Zimmer score. Seriously, if you infodump like this, my eyes glaze over and my mind clouds. Then I get like this:Now onto more troubling issues. - Girl on girl hate. Clary goes out of her way to be shitty to Isabelle because she's prettier and knows it. Writers, this needs to STOP. Don't tell me this is how teenage girls think, that's lazy. We don't need to encourage this kind of thought in which pretty/sexy girls are the enemy. Plus how can I root for a female protagonist if she's so insecure that she treats other girls like shit if they dare make her feel inferior? Get some self respect and then call me.- Demonification of sexuality (but only if it's from other females) The single mother comment made me want to punch this book in the face. It's shitty and low. Can we not emphasize the goodness of a woman by contrasting her with women who aren't exactly like her? Ms. Clare, if you're reading this, I want to know why you felt it was important for us to see how amazing Clary's mother is as opposed to other single mothers who you made out to be skanky. It upset me.- Ethnicity for the sake of ethnicity. Don't tell me that a couple is of Asian decent or the girl you bumped into was black unless there is a reason for it. I'm probably forgetting a few things, but that's the gist of it. I won't be reading any more of this series because I can't take anymore of the aforementioned problems. One great thing - Alec and Magnus Bane. Still not enough to overcome everything else.Here's something, too. Clary asking if Alec was gay was beyond shitty. I had a gay friend in high school and was constantly asked about him, and it pissed us both off. "What's it to you?" was our common response. Know why? BECAUSE IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS. Oh, I did not like Clary. She made me think of a Louis C.K. bit - "I hope she gets pushed off a cliff by someone she loves, and she screams all the way down, never accepting it, and then Superman flies in, catches her, flies up, and drops her from FARTHER UP."So that's my review. Take it or leave it.